When you get married and are so in love, you just can't WAIT to have a baby. The thought of you having this precious little miracle that combines you and your husband together with features from both is amazing. You envision it and you get butterflies. You imagine yourself pregnant and turn sideways to picture this little baby growing inside of you, feeling it kick and sharing that excitement. Then you really do get pregnant and you are like WHOA...no one told me THIS is how it is.
Let's be honest (anyone who's ever been pregnant) knows what I mean. Don't get me wrong I still LOVE feeling the kicks and envisioning what features he will have from Kevin and myself and am already so in love with this little baby boy and we have weeks to go! HOWEVER, no one mentions that it's not just a "baby bump" in your stomach you grow but it's fat everywhere! Everything gets bigger, whether you try to eat well or not and whether you exercise or not. My face keeps getting rounder and rounder. My stomach, thighs, butt, boobs, and "baby bump" all keep expanding with lovely marks in those places in case I didn't notice it on my own. (By the way those commercials about those lotions that prevent stretch marks are wrong...You can lather in them all you want and if you are going to get marks, you still get them.) You see yourself getting larger and larger, feeling unattractive and Shamu- like as every day passes...you can't exert too much energy on anything without feeling out of breath and you look at old pictures which point out just how much weight you have gained despite the number that the doctor says is "great for how far you are"...
BUT, then you see an ultrasound of this growing miracle inside of you, and hear his little heartbeat and look at your husband and he is grinning from ear to ear. Or you are sitting on the couch and you all of a sudden see your entire belly shift and realize that's YOUR baby. I don't write this blog to complain (although it may appear that way) but instead to be realistic of how pregnant women feel and what they go through. It's like an unspoken rule among women. You don't hear all of these stories until you are pregnant and then all of your friends, family, etc. that have experienced start sharing it and you are like why didn't you tell me before? Well...the truth is, it wouldn't have stopped me from getting pregnant and experiencing this anyway. AND, despite how it sounds...there is something about being pregnant that I absolutely LOVE!
In November when I hear Eli's cry for the first time, all of the morning sickness, problems, headaches, backaches, etc. will all disappear because I will be overwhelmed with love for this little life that we created. It will all be worth everything you go through and I probably won't even think about or remember it until we try for baby #2...
