Mother's Day

My first mother's day...words cannot even express how full of love my heart has been today.  Some people may think it is silly.  I mean we are mother's everyday so why do we need a specific day dedicated to us?  It's not the gifts that we got (a beautiful diamond necklace to remember my first mother's day) or the "down-time" our husbands gave us.  It's the fact that before now, it was always a time to make sure we told our own mother's "thank you" for all that they do for us. And now, this time, we are being told thank you and beginning a beautiful journey of raising a child.  One that we do not deserve, but that we are trusted with.  It is the most precious, rewarding and difficult thing we will ever do.  The job will never end but continue on for as long as we are allowed on Earth, because my mother is still there for me and I'm almost 30!

I do have to say one more thought that fills my heart though.  I read a status a moment ago of a dear friend and it said she was, "praying for all of the people longing to be a mother because it was a difficult place to be."  That really got me thinking and she is exactly right.  I've been at the place where you decide to try and have a baby, but you are so anxious and want it so badly that you just worry for some reason you can't have a child. Then I've been "there"...so close to being a mother, but losing a precious baby.  All I wanted so badly was to be a "mom."  To have those big, innocent eyes looking up at me, waiting for me to say something, and then giving me the sweetest smile in return.  But it wasn't in God's plan for that to happen at THAT time.  Fortunately, God blessed me and allowed me to be a mother in HIS time though and it was worth the wait and everything Kevin & I went through to get here.  So today, I am more thankful than I have ever been to be a mommy to my precious son, Eli.  And I do wonder about my angel in heaven (whether it was a boy or girl...what they would look like)...But I, too, am praying for anyone longing for this experience and hoping that your prayers are answered.  Just remember, it is in God's time and in HIS hands.  We don't always know why things happen, but we must have faith that there is a reason for everything.