What is perfection?

I have NO idea what perfection is, but it surely isn't me.  The closest way to sum it up for me is in these pictures:

 

Kevin and I were sitting around having a discussion about when we first got together and he said, "Babe - you've come a long way" in which of course I replied, "You too my love."

Although our conversation was all in fun, it was also the truth and this has been consuming my mind lately.  These two sleeping children have no idea how sweet and innocent and pure they are right now.  The worst they've done is say "No" to mommy, scream when they get really upset, or get in time-out for school (which usually their teachers say are for minor things).  

As they get older, choices get harder and we can't keep them in a bubble.  Even now, I hear conversations they have with older kids and it bothers me.  I want my four old year to think STUPID is a bad word for a very long time. And although it's used all around us, all of the time, I want him to know it sounds mean and would hurt someone's feelings.  I want him to learn the difference in how saying "Shut up" and "please be quiet" makes someone feel.  I want to always hear that he uses his manners when he's away from me and isn't embarrassed to show that he has a heart of gold .  (I'm mainly referring to Eli because he's my oldest one and we are experiencing all these first together as he grows up before my eyes.)  

But as much as we want for them, we are ever changing too.  I also want him and Evy to see how happily married Kevin and I are and understand why it's that way.  Marriage is work and life is work.  Putting Christ in your relationship can bring blessings that you didn't even know you missed.  (Just to set the record straight - Kevin and I have been Christians for a long time, but there is a HUGE difference in attending church and REALLY giving 100% effort to put Christ first in all things being done.)  Life is full of choices and decisions and then rewards or consequences to follow.  I'm 31, happily married to my best friend and the most wonderful person I've ever known, and have two beautiful children (who are four and two).  BUT, it is just now that I feel like I am finding parts of myself that I have been missing for years.

Our family has finally found a church family - one that we feel like we belong to and one that makes us want to strive to be more Christ-like.  Our kids love it, I love it and my husband loves it.  I look forward to Sundays and being braver about praying in front of people and being specific in prayer.  Sure, Kevin and I pray with our kids before bedtime, but we could do better.  I want to do better about being encouraging, and positive and uplifting.  I truly empathize with people when they go through something difficult.  If they cry, I'm crying because my heart breaks for them.  If I'm going through something, I try to put myself in someone else's shoes so that I keep myself grounded.  Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't ever help, it just makes you drown faster. BUT - there are many times in the past, maybe because we've moved so much and had so many different circles of friends, that I tended to be a hermit and only be consumed with things that pertained to my immediate family.  NOW - I want to help others, I want to give back. I want to show I care and instead of just saying, "I can't imagine what you're going through," ask people, "How can I help you?" 

 I say all of this because maybe you need encouragement, or maybe you need to work on you because you aren't sure what perfection is too.  So I leave this post with several scriptures and quotes that have really hit home for me lately...and I challenge you (if anyone is even reading this) to choose one thing you know you can do better, and really give 100% and work on it.  With all of the craziness in the outside world that I can't control for my kids, the LEAST I can do, is continue to strive for a better me (wife, mother and person) everyday.  Maybe they will always remember that and the world won't seem like such a harsh place as they continue to age and make their own choices.

              

and last but certainly not least...