Wednesday, July 20th, started out like any other day. I woke up with my sweet yorkie, Muffin, pawing my shoulder saying she needed to go outside. The kids were stirring around and so I rushed to let her out in the yard, went to give the kids their medicine (they have sinus infections) and then started putting cinnamon rolls in the oven.
After a few minutes, I realized I hadn't seen her...Muffin is always back at the door within a couple of minutes pawing or barking to get back in, but she wasn't. I started to look for her around the yard, but the kids needed me so I came back in. I got the kids settled, turned the timer off in a hurry and went back outside. I looked for what seemed like forever...I yelled, I whistled, I offered treats and a ride in the car, but I couldn't hear the dangling little charm on her collar anywhere. I started to panic... and without the details, rightfully so it turns out.
As I fell apart about my best friend of 9 years, millions of things ran through my mind. How was I going to tell my kids? Did I have to go back inside without her? What do I do? I've never dealt with this before. The main thing was, "This is my fault. I should have looked sooner."
Some people say, "It's just a dog. It's a pet. How can you be THIS upset over a dog?" They've obviously never had a close pet.
So I hope this helps anyone understand ...For 9 YEARS, this sweet dog I got as a puppy :
- Woke me up every morning by pawing my shoulder to let me know she needed to go outside.
- Slept curled up right behind my back or legs every single night in my bed.
- Followed me around, like a shadow, EVERYWHERE in my house...the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, the kids rooms, the playroom.
- Everywhere I sat - she sat...right beside me, so she could be touching me.
- She was spoiled rotten and wanted to lay on a blanket or a pillow because she wanted to be comfy.
- She loved to play ball and fetch with the loudest squeaky toys ever, especially while I was folding laundry for some reason.
- She would destroy any toy you got her in less than a minute, especially if it had that white, cotton stuffing. But this ONE blue, LOUD elephant lasted...for years.
- She rode with me in the car if I was coming right back and would put her mouth right in front of the air vent. After she did that, she'd lay down in my lap and sleep the rest of the way.
- She barked if she heard any car in the driveway and gave me a good 2 minutes heads up.
- She loved to play with Kevin and if he pretended to put his hands on me and I would say OUCH OUCH, she would growl at him like she was going to eat his hand off. She really wouldn't, but she sure thought she was protecting me.
- She made me feel safe while Kevin traveled for work.
- Before Kevin, she was my sanity. She was my safe place during one of the most difficult times of my life. She would lay right beside me if I ever got upset crying and would come up to my face and try to lick my tears. She had this look that if I didn't know better, I'd say she got from me... She'd tilt her head to one side and stare at you like "Really?"
- She layed with my kids, both of them, and slept beside them while they were babies.
- She tolerated them trying to ride her, and trying to rub her (but pulling her hair instead), and being in her face to kiss her or just talk to her.
- She would sit at the kids or adults feet while we ate. She would never bother you, just sit and watch. BUT, if you ever left your plate, she'd grab your food faster than you could get whatever you needed and sit back down. She was a sneaky, but polite dog.
- She loved my parents and it was a given, that for whatever reason, anyone in the world could wear socks in the house EXCEPT for my dad. She would nip and bite at his toes until he took them off. That will always be a mystery to us.
- She made my mom and Kevin's mom fall in love with her enough that they both let her inside their house.
- She made my sister-in-law tolerate her and the first time she met her, she screamed when Muffin was around.
- She made everyone fall in love with her because she was the sweetest, most loving dog I've ever been around. There wasn't a mean bone in her body. The worst thing she'd ever do is lick you to death.
- And last but not least, everyday when I came home, she would turn one complete circle in her crate, and start picking up and putting down her paws. When me or one of the kids opened the crate, she would fly out running as fast as she can into the living room and then come straight back to jump up on your legs and get rubbed. If you came in and sat down, she'd run all across your lap hoping you'd rub her back right in front of her tail (which was wagging a million miles a minute).
- ...And with Kevin...I always said they had their own little language... When kevin got home it's later in the evening, and muffin would be sitting with me, so she would growl this little growl, and then when she would see it was him she would RRRRRR like a mini wolf howling at the moon. Kevin would do it back as high pitched as he could, and then Muffin was good. She'd wait for Kevin to pet her and all was right in the world.
I col could go on & on forever, but the point of this is for people to see...she wasn't just a dog. She's like a family member who is there for every minute of every day and she's gone in an instant. Our whole routine, everything we know is changed. There are questions and comments by a four and a two year old constantly that are hard to explain and make me want to cry.
To end this, I want to say one more thing...although a piece of my heart left with my fur baby, I'm not out of reality enough to still be thankful. Wednesday was an unexpected day, with bad news that changed our lives - BUT I have a loving, wonderful husband and two beautiful, happy, healthy children. People wake up everyday and lose family members, and although losing our pet is like losing a child...it wasn't a child.
We are very blessed and one day, when the kids are a little older and I can have another dog without missing Muffin so bad, we will pick one out as a family. I don't want a replacement, I want to be able to love another dog as much as I loved her. Even though you lose pets eventually - they are worth it. Until then, rest easy my sweet Muffin...I promise you will be thought of daily. We love you.
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